PikeStar- Leader of RiverClan

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PikeStar- Leader of RiverClan

Post  Cinwan on Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:21 pm

Name: PikeStar
Gender: Male
Rank(EX: Warrior, apprentice, etc.): Leader
Age: 6 years (LOL, edited by Zap, you wrote 6 MOONS XD)
Physical Description(In writing or image form): Brown with white muzzle and chest, blue eyes
Personality: A calm, quiet cat who always stands up for his clan. He is brave and believes that every battle fought should be won for RiverClan.
History: Born in RiverClan, named after his mothers favorite meal. He was quiet but trained well. He was a great fighter. After he became Pikepool, he fell in love with Wingblossom. They mated and had kits who are now apprentices-Shellpaw and Softpaw. Soon he ended up as the deputy. After a terrible flood, and their leader died, Pikepool became Pikestar, leader of Riverclan.
RPG Sample*: One of his warriors ran urgently to him. "We have scented ThunderClan over the border. Caught one of them. Brought them to camp." PikeStar walked calmly to the crowded area of cats. "I shall talk to HawkStar about this. He should respect other clan's borders."


Last edited by Cinwan on Fri Jul 06, 2012 1:48 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Re: PikeStar- Leader of RiverClan

Post  Zaperex on Tue Jul 03, 2012 12:28 pm

Not bad, but please put more information in your physical description and personality-after all, leaders are quite important. Plus, your character is too young to be a leader. PLus, "Born in Riverclan" doesn't count as history.
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Re: PikeStar- Leader of RiverClan

Post  Zaperex on Tue Jul 03, 2012 3:44 pm

I've fixed it for you, there you go, Cin. :3 You made some nice edits as well.
Close enough, accepted but I may ask you to improve upon Pikestar later. Oh, plus, please now make Shellpaw and Softpaw Very Happy.
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